Why in 2020?

Protesting in Denver, Co. photo courtesy of Cori Abate

I sit in the comfort of my home, where things are peaceful and harmonious. Not all of of us have that luxury. Some people don’t have homes to live in or homes that are peaceful or harmonious. Some would say I have privilege because of these things. Before I get into all of that, let me give you a little back story.

Protests in Denver, CO. photo courtesy of Cori Abate

In April of 2015, a young black man Freddie Gray was killed while in police custody. He was an unarmed black man with a long list of priors. Why is that important? Its not, but the average white person would say different. Anyway, because of his murder, Baltimore took matters into their own hands and protested, rioted, and looted-for 3 days. It was probably one of the scariest things I have ever seen in my life. People were outraged as they watched Baltimore stores and businesses get burned down and looted. I was one who was outraged by this. I wanted to understand how burning down the community you live in was going to help anything. In fact, one of my very good friends (she is black) at the time called me out and told me that I was racist, but that it was “thinly veiled”. We are no longer friends and I have thought about her statement ever since. Please follow me if you are a person of color because this is how my thoughts went. First, I needed validation that I wasn’t racist. I mean, how could I be? I have a very diverse mix of friends, I was feeding the predominantly black homeless crowd at a church in the city once a month, I never thought I was better than any person that wasn’t white. I sought validation from other black friends who all reassured me that I wasn’t racist. Shew, I was saved from myself. But since then, I have grown. I have taken my friend’s words and tried to change my perspective. Her whole point was that someone made a remark about welfare and tied it to my riot post and the black people that were rioting and I said nothing. I’ve learned that silence=acceptance. So, for that, I thank her. I have often thought about her statement and still struggle with it. what if I am racist? I still don’t believe that I am, but maybe that is my privilege speaking. Since then, I have become an educator and one of the biggest things that I hear in school is about demographics, specifically about how our black students generally under perform based on testing data and analytics. I have to choose my words carefully. I get so frustrated because the word privilege is thrown around so loosely like the term bullying. But in 2020, racist, privilege, bullying have new meanings. If you are white and you are still reading this, thank you. If you are a person of color and you are still reading this, thank you double.

Protester in Toledo, OH. Photo courtesy of Amy Voigt (Facebook)

So, back to my present. Since becoming an educator, I have to find ways to identify with all of my students and if I don’t know what their life is like or understand how their skin color can affect how they are treated, I will fail them. While some may say So, every child has the same opportunity as the next, it is simply not true. I was never one to believe that until I took it upon myself to try and understand other people. I read some very good books on the subject. While every book does not personally speak to me, parts of every book do. I started years ago with “The Other Wes Moore” by Wes Moore. At the time, he was a new board member for the company I worked for and I was interested in reading it. It was an amazing story of how two black men grew up, same name, different lives. If you haven’t read it, I recommend you do so. Both men had the same opportunity to attend school and get an education. Only one had a parent that could save her child. Then last year I read the book “Born a Crime” by Trevor Noah. OMG what an eye opening book. It is the story of Trevor Noah being born mixed in a time where it was socially unaccepted in white or black South Africa. What that book taught me was that different cultures have different expectations. While my culture expects you to get an education and get a good job, not every culture is the same. This was my first look at my personal racism an privilege. this year, I have read “For White Folks Who Teach in the Hood” by Christopher Emdin. Wow, what a powerful book about the importance of learning other cultures!! I have also finished up “Waking up White” by Debby Irving. I only tell you this so you can understand that I am trying to make myself a better person by learning how to be a better, more open-minded teacher and individual.

Protesters unite in Toledo, OH. Photo courtesy of Amy Voigt (Facebook)

So, what is racism today? Well, it is the same as it always was, only encompasses more than you just thinking you are better than someone else because of their skin color. It is making statements like “The looting starts, the shooting starts” or “political correctness sucks” (actual comment on social media). Political correctness? Come on people, wake up! Privilege…that is a tough one, because until recently, privilege meant that I have an opportunity that you don’t have. I never thought of skin color being a privilege because I personally have never gotten any favors done because I am white. I haven’t been given anything because I am white. I worked hard over the years and accumulated a ton of debt to get to the career I have. My student loan payments are half of my monthly salary. Where is the privilege in that? I know many of my white friends that are still reading this are probably shaking their head in agreement with me. Well, this is the privilege. I had the same opportunity as anyone else to heap on the debt. Or did I? Well, my first 3 years of college were paid for by my parents. So, that saved me a lot of money to even think about going back. Not every person has the opportunity to attend 3 years of college for no charge. Not every person has 2 parents that made sound financial decisions so their child could go to school. Not every person has the stability at home or transportation to school or even a computer to complete online classes. There are many things that factor into privilege. My white privilege comes from going into a business and not being followed around, going into a store and being helped before someone else because you are white, getting pulled over for a minor traffic violation and getting let go with a warning, or standing in front of a person of color in the middle of a protest and shouting “white people, we need to protect the people of color, stand behind us”. (This is an actual quote from my friend as he and his wife protested in Toledo, Ohio yesterday). White people were not afraid to act as a barrier between themselves and people of color, because they knew the likelihood of them being shot or injured was far less than had the man they were trying to protect continued to stand in front. White people-I hear you talking about how burning things down, destroying property, etc. is not what should be happening right now. But, when people protest, what are you thinking? Oh look at how peaceful these people are being, not burning things down, blah, blah, blah. Guess what? people are being seriously injured during these protests too. Yesterday, in Toledo, Ohio, friends were recording everything live. People were walking the street, marching in solidarity. Sure, maybe traffic was blocked. It was a minor inconvenience, but did it warrant rubber bullets and tear gas? A man lost his career for taking a knee during our national anthem. So, what would you like people that are frustrated from years of thinly veiled racism and under-privilege to do? Sit back and take it?

“We are all people, the richest people want us to fight police.” (photo credit Amy Voigt Facebook, quote from video footage from Elijah Diefenbach Facebook)

There are many resources for you to learn what white privilege or any type of privilege that is out there. This scenario from “Waking up White” is the one thing that finally helped me understand what it really is. The author, Debby Irving, went into a grocery store where she encountered a person in a wheelchair in an aisle. The other customer could only reach the products that were at eye level, so her selection of items was very limited. Debby Irving realized that she was more privileged than this woman in the wheelchair because she could walk and see and purchase any item she wanted from anywhere in the store. It wasn’t something she did or didn’t do that gave her privilege. It was the mere fact that she was able to walk and live without a wheelchair that gave her an advantage over this other person. The fact that you are white already lessens your chance of walking through your neighborhood and being followed by police or lessens the chance that you will die in a routine traffic stop. Whether you agree or not, I hope you understand a little more what racism and privilege mean in today’s society. And if you aren’t outraged by the death of George Floyd, shame on you. There were many more before him, but i hope, with some real change and attention to the matter, there won’t be any after him. Tell me the last time you were mistaken for someone else as a white person and ended up dead on the street because you were illegally restrained and fought for your last breath as people stood by and did nothing. Don’t understand the riots? Maybe try to understand how a person who is supposed to serve and protect can murder a man in the middle of the day, with other officers standing by watching and doing nothing to prevent it. Maybe try to understand why it keeps happening over and over and over again. Maybe try to understand why so many black mothers feel so insecure about sending heir sons out of their home everyday. Maybe try to understand your own judgments against people of color.

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  Toledo, OH (photo courtesy of Amy Voigt Facebook)

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  Toledo, OH (photo courtesy of Amy Voigt Facebook)

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  Toledo, OH (photo courtesy of Amy Voigt Facebook)

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  Toledo, OH (photo courtesy of Amy Voigt Facebook)

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  Toledo, OH (photo courtesy of Amy Voigt Facebook)

Protest in Denver Colorado (Photo courtesy of Cori Abate)

IF you followed along and read my thoughts in their entirety, thank you. If you disagree, that is fine too, but please keep your negativity to yourself. If you don’t like the looting and rioting, do something to change the current climate. Write to your congress members, demand justice for George Floyd and all of his predecessors who were killed for no other reason than they were black. Demand that police wear and turn on body cameras at all times. Turn it off and you’re fired. Demand our laws change so that everyone is held accountable for the same things. Recognize your privilege.

My Experience

Well, here we are, almost a month since I have been staying home. I have been out a few times, but each time is the same, empty shelves and masks on faces. I went to the grocery store on Friday. It was the first time I had been in a store in 2 weeks. I waited in line for about 3 minutes outside the store to go in. I felt like I was the only person without a mask on so I tried to hurry up and get what I needed so I could leave. I bought some garbage food and forgot the pizza I went in there for originally. There were still empty shelves, but at least my local store has been well stocked. I forgot to look for toilet paper, even though we don’t need any right now. I’m terrified that we will get down to 2 rolls and not be able to find anymore. I have been having groceries delivered for a few months now, before the virus started and my orders are the same, but what I receive is usually much different. Why are the shelves still empty? Why can’t the stores stay stocked? I mean, if people aren’t supposed to be out, why the heck are the shelves still bare?

Today I received an email from the airline letting me know that one of my flights was cancelled (to Hawaii). I called and she said, oh, your outbound flight was cancelled and we can rebook you for June 28th. Um, I am scheduled to arrive at my condo on June 25th….And the resort is currently closed and Hawaii has a mandatory 14 day quarantine for incoming travelers right now. We are only there for 9 days. I have been trying to stay super positive that my travel plans wouldn’t be interrupted, but it isn’t looking to good right now. I know you are probably thinking I have a first world problem here and you are right, but I am allowed to be disappointed if my vacation is cancelled.

This past week I got to talk to several of my students. It was heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. I have had a couple of students and parents ask when they are going to get to go back to school. “I wish I knew” is what I wanted to say. I hope this helps students appreciate the time in the classroom in the future. I know that there are many people out there that are really upset about seniors and their graduation and prom. These are rites of passage and I feel terrible for them. We need to remember that we have also made moving from elementary to middle school a rite of passage too. My 5th graders were really excited about our planned field trip to Washington DC this coming Wednesday. They were also excited for their end of year picnic, 5th grade dance, and the promotion/farewell assembly. It is scary to think about next school year and the skill gaps these kids are going to have. I mean, I barely got to teach them the beginning of multiplying fractions with a whole number before we left for the coronaclosure. I guess one good thing about this is standardized testing is cancelled. I hope that the kids are getting some quality time at home and are able to escape their current reality sometimes. I know if I can’t get back into the building, my stuff will be exactly where I left it on March 13th. It is kind of weird that we left so abruptly and I am glad we took the last day to get our room cleaned up, even if it felt like the end of the school year. I kept suggesting my kids keep a journal of everything going on and how they are feeling since they are the primary sources for history later!

I am grateful for this universal message that we all need to slow down and take some self-care time. I no longer go to bed at 9:30 because I don’t have an alarm going off at 5:00 am anymore. I filled up my gas tank on March 11th and my tank is still full…We have saved money because I also haven’t had to re-up my ezpass thanks to not going through the tunnel everyday. We haven’t eaten out in weeks for fear of contracting this virus on some containers or in our food. My dog is really happy with all of the walks we have been taking. The cats could care less, they keep doing their own thing. I do miss karaoke and being able to go to Target to browse. I miss going to the movies. It is what it is I guess. I hope this is over soon. I keep hearing that we will be peaking any day now, but it has taken China 5 months so far to be able to even relax some of their social distancing efforts. They are on the mend with lower cases being reported nowadays, but it is still not gone and they are still not convinced that a second wave could still happen. I figure if we are on the same trajectory, it might be July or August before our lives can even think about socializing again. I’m going to think positive though and I am still going to get to go to Florida to visit my mom in July and Palm Springs in August. I am not so confident about Hawaii though. Maybe next year.

How I’m Feeling

Maybe you don’t care how I am personally feeling, but you are reading this, so maybe you are curious. I’ll be honest, I am not feeling like myself. I am sad and I miss how life was before all of this started. I miss being able to make the decision that I didn’t want to go anywhere. Now, that decision is made for me. Our state is on a stay at home order. That doesn’t mean I can never leave the house, it just means that I shouldn’t leave the house if I don’t have to. Everything is pretty much closed anyway. If it isn’t essential, it isn’t open. What is considered essential anyway? Well, food, water, liquor, medicine. That is it.

Three Fridays ago, 3/13, I left my classroom and my students for what may be the last time this year. I had about half of my class absent that day and we didn’t do anything to learn something new that day. We had a morning meeting where we talked about how we were feeling and the kids were scared. They had been hearing about this virus for a while and it was now hitting home. We cleaned the classroom, their desks, and their lockers in preparation for the deep clean that was supposed to take place during the two weeks we were scheduled to be off. The kids were given paper packets, pencils, colored pencils, some markers so they had supplies to set up their classroom at home. I’m fairly certain that only a handful of these kids did the work. Then, the decision was made to extend the closing through the end of April. Now parents are nervous about having to teach their own kids. I personally love all of the memes out there where parents are ready for their kids to go back to school and how much they now appreciate teachers.

I’m sad. I liked my life before all of this. I had the choice to stay home and not do things. Now I don’t. Our governor closed everything and said stay at home unless you need an essential item. So because I was actually sick for the first two weeks at home, my husband has been the one to risk everything and do the running for us, his mom, and my dad. And after all this, people are still out doing things like browsing the stores and socializing less than 6 feet apart. I am not one for taking away liberties, but those of you that are not taking this seriously are going to be complaining the most if we end up on a lockdown.

Just for the record, because I am now a primary source for what is happening right now, on March 12th, we looked for toilet paper. The shelves were empty. On 3/13, I stopped at Family Dollar looking for toilet paper. Shelves empty. On 3/18, I went to 3 stores and found no toilet paper. On 3/19, we lucked into 2 9 packs of toilet paper. Thankfully we had some TP in our house already. The shelves in the toilet paper aisle remain empty for the most part. I’m not sure why, but I guess people are home more and using their toilet more than the work/school toilets.

I have been sad. I am tired of staying home. I usually don’t like going places, but when I am not allowed to go places, that makes it feel different. Every aspect of our lives have changed. I am learning how to teach students remotely while most of them don’t even have a computer or internet. I have watched way too many hours of television and played on my iPad way more than I should. I miss going to the gym and if you know me, you know that is insanity and maybe I am going crazy. I don’t mind doing the home workouts, but I am definitely not as motivated as I am when I have to face others to complete it. I literally have worn pajamas all day every day for most of this time stuck at home. I’m tired of it. I just don’t feel motivated to do anything different. I appreciate all of the people that are out there working to ensure non-essential employees can continue to survive. I feel horrible for all of the people that are struggling financially to stay afloat with the loss of income. I hope this is a motivator to either try to figure out how your family can do better and not live paycheck to paycheck. I hope this is the motivator that people need to spend more time with their families and appreciate how much work others are doing to keep them safe.

Pants

A few years ago, I lost a bunch of weight because I wanted to complete a 5K at Disneyland. I lost weight, I felt good, I was physically active by walking about 2 miles every single day for months. I bought some clothes and was so excited for my new skinny jeans. Personally, I think skinny jeans are much hotter than boot cut, especially when your legs are big. Anyway, fast forward to a few months after I completed the 5K. I stopped walking. I got back into my old eating habits and gained all of my weight back. I still wasn’t at my heaviest, but pretty darn close. I was unhealthy. My diabetes was out of control and I have wrecked my knees with all of that weight. Anyway, I embarked on a new journey in September.

I have lost only 16.5 pounds in 4 months. My husband keeps encouraging me that that is about a pound per week, so that is good. I’ve gotten multiple compliments from people at work. The scale is such a lie sometimes. Someone that weighs as much as I do shouldn’t see that much of a change with that loss. After all it is less than 10% of my body weight. But you know what? Working out has changed my body. I still eat mostly healthy. Sure, I have eaten french fries, but not like I used to and I find alternatives to the things I really want now. I eat actual correct portions now. I enjoy a lot of things. And today…I fit into my goal pants! The scale pisses me off, but my pants don’t lie.

Two Months In

Well, for the 489th time, I started to live a healthier lifestyle about 2 months ago. I made sure that I got the most out of my summer by eating like crap and making sure my blood sugar stayed high at all times. I ate ice cream like I tasted it for the first time, I ate all the fried, fatty foods I wanted, and just ate like a garbage disposal all summer. I knew that was going to have to change, so I made sure I did it right. That all changed when my doctor revealed that my A1C was back in the double digits. If you don’t know, the average normal range for A1C is 4-5.6%. Let’s just say that mine was over 10. I know that I didn’t want to have another stroke because that would probably end my career or kill me. I also don’t want to lose my sight or my limbs. I happen to like having all of my toes and definitely my feet. So, I decided to start working out and eating better. I’m going to say that I haven’t really missed anything. If I want something sweet, I eat it, just less of it. If I want chips, I buy single serve bags to control my portions. I do tend to eat more popcorn than  a serving, but that hasn’t affected my sugar at all. Now, the important part of this is that I joined a Crossfit gym with my husband. I go there two times per week to work out. The workouts are scaled to meet my limitations and while I may feel like I am dying sometimes, I know I’m not and I feel better for completing it when I am done. What I like about Crossfit is that no workout is the same and every workout involves several different movements. I feel it for at least a day or two afterwards like I never have. This tells me that I am actually getting something out of it. I’ll never say that I like working out, because it is hard, but dying would be much harder on me and those that love me, so I guess I prefer working out. On the plus side, I have lost 10.5 pounds in just 2 months and reduced my insulin by 40 units per day! Now that is something to really celebrate!

Crossfit?

 

If you have been following me or know my history, you know there was a time that I went to the gym and I liked it. I mean, I didn’t love it, but once I finished my workout after reluctantly getting in the car, I felt better. I had an amazing trainer that pushed me, but never too hard. I learned a lot from her and eventually, I wrote my own workouts at home. Skylar played along with me when I was in that mood. You probably also know that I don’t like cardio very much and prefer to have a workout that changes throughout the workout. enter Crossfit.

Skylar found this gym 1214 Crossfit. He wanted something challenging and something that would help him reach his goals. He has encouraged me to come try it out and I did. I had an initial consultation and custom workout. I didn’t hate it. It was rigorous, but I didn’t hate it. I even went back a second time. Yesterday, I did a scaled version of the group workout. It was hard, but I did it. I pushed myself. I felt like I used to after the boxing class we used to take. Again, I didn’t hate it.

I was able to work with one of the owners, Mike. He’s young and buff. His intentions are to help people reach their fitness goals. I was worried that I would feel intimidated and judged because I’m not the same size as many people that go there that I have seen. You know what? Mike explained everything as we went and explained why I was doing things the way I was. He was teaching me how to do the exercises the right way. I felt comfortable immediately! Luckily, the gym was mostly empty so I didn’t feel like others were watching me and thinking negatively in the back of their minds. I know, that is on me, but my mind really screws with me a lot and makes me anxious.

So, my plan is to go to a class tomorrow. I guess I’ll see how much I like it after a group workout lol! I am committed to getting healthy again. I’m tired of being sick and in pain. I want to feel vibrant and alive. I’m hoping with some dietary changes and real exercise, I will make that happen.

Body for Life-Day one

Years ago, my friend would wake up and it would be “Body for Life day 1”. We had a running joke in our house for a long time about it. Today, I’m putting it out there that I am not joking. I don’t want to die before I hit 50.

Some of you have been following my journey since I started and I really appreciate that. I’ve been up and I’ve been down. I have worked out a lot and I have been complacent even more. I have struggled and I have had periods of time where I never felt better. Today, I begin my journey again. I’ve had a few health scares, my arthritis and neuropathy have gotten worse and I’m in constant pain. I can’t walk up my stairs without being out of breath. I’m unhealthy and it is time to get back on a journey to healthy. I wish there was a magic cure, but there isn’t. I have considered surgery. There are many dangers to that as well. I have weighed all of my options and yes, surgery is a definite option for some, but not for me. Not right now anyway.

My husband has been gently nudging me to join him at the gym. If you know me, you know my husband is a regulation hottie and achieves this by working out almost every single day. He does it so that he can be strong and build the muscles to support his back so he isn’t in constant pain. I never got that until today. When I was learning how to do dumbbell presses, my trainer explained how important it is to work the muscles so you are putting less stress on the joints. I need that. I’m not kidding when I tell you my knees hurt and so does my left ankle and foot-ALL the time! I’m tired of being less than 50 and feeling like I am 80! How tired? We shall see.

A few years ago I set a goal to do a 5k. Been there, done that, so I need a new goal. My new goal is to complete a 10K AT Disney. I am putting it out there that in February 2021, I will complete the Run Disney 10K during the Princess marathon weekend. I will practice by going to the gym, losing some weight, building some muscle, and finally completing the 5Ks that I have medals for already. (That I never completed. I owe it to Harley, because there is a dog medal and he loved walking!) I know, you are probably wondering why I am waiting, but the honest reason is I need time to make sure I can do it and it is sold out for 2020. You have to register like the day they open up or you’ll never get in. It will be Skylar and my 7 year wedding anniversary that weekend.

Today, I am putting my fears and irrational anxieties aside and committing to a healthier me again. First, I am going to have breakfast with my dad, but who knows, maybe I will make a healthier choice so I don’t waste the workout I did today.

I am Who I am…

When I moved to Maryland from California in 10th grade, I wanted so badly to be a different person. I wanted to be popular and I wanted the mean girls to like me. It sure didn’t take long for those mean girls to show me that I didn’t want to be a mean girl and I didn’t want to conform to their three year old fashions and ridiculousness. Instead, I decided to be me. I was one who was forced to wear what I thought were mostly ugly clothes because that is what we could afford and my dad was old-fashioned when it came to clothes. So, once I learned the lay of the land, I came out as my true self-a person that hated conformity and a person that liked to test the system. I tested it alright! I dressed as an individual. I didn’t care what others thought because I was being me. We had a spirit week when I was in 11th grade and I was bored with the same status quo events that happened every year. I thought it would be fun to have a pajama day, but our principal didn’t think it was appropriate, so he forced us to have a dress your best day instead. I talked to one of my favorite teachers and she helped me to understand how to “follow the rules”. I dressed in some regular clothes on that day. I thought I dressed pretty good in my mismatched, funky outfits. Mrs. Pabst helped me to understand perspective for the first time.

Fast forward to now. I am still me. I hate the political climate we live in right now. If you don’t agree with our president, you are a liberal and you hate America. I am not the one that used a campaign slogan Make America Great Again. I thought it was pretty great already. Who is the one hating on America? There are things that we can’t fix on our own. For those that may not know, I managed (with my friend Donna) a homeless outreach for the past several years. Every month, I would gather donations and volunteers and head to the disgusting, rodent-infested mess where no human being would want to live, and we would serve a hot meal, beverages, and much needed hygiene kits to the (non) human-beings that “lived” there. Last year, Donna and I called it quits because we weren’t helping anyone. In fact, we were putting a band-aid on a crisis. We both couldn’t help but feel the pain that the same people showed up, month after month, year after year, collecting the same things. We couldn’t fix it and we didn’t have an answer on how to fix it either. In case any of you are wondering, there are plenty of programs that are here to help the homeless, so you can stop sharing your memes saying we need to hep our homeless before helping other countries. There are some people that truly don’t want help. They like the homeless lifestyle. I know, it seems crazy to me too because I personally like living in a house. But I didn’t force anyone to take a meal they didn’t want or a hygiene kit they didn’t want. Why? Because in America, you have choices and you have freedom. That is truly what makes our country great. You know what else? Those brown people that are coming from the south, they aren’t going to take any of those freedoms or choices away from you. Does that make me a liberal? I guess it does. By the way, I never made any of the people we served feel like they owed us any gratitude. I never made them feel obligated to say thank you. So why should people moving to this country for the first time not still love their culture? I see too many people saying things like-they should be grateful to be here, why are they still waving their flag? Because they are new here, they are proud to be here, but still value their culture.

Here is what I believe to be true. I don’t support socialism. I want everyone that can to work hard and earn their way. I believe we need immigration and welfare reform. I don’t think we need 100% open borders. Yes, I know, dangerous people come to our country illegally and legally every single day. If people would stop getting their news from Facebook Memes, they would realize that, according to a study conducted by M.B. Velez, “in areas where there were large populations of recent immigrants, the number of homicides decreased. Vélez attributed this finding to the reinvigoration of neighborhoods when new immigrants arrived. She suggested that the new arrivals arguably want to strengthen ties with their neighbors, increase community organizations, and improve the local economy.” (https://oxfordre.com/criminology/view/10.1093/acrefore/9780190264079.001.0001/acrefore-9780190264079-e-93) I am not living in a world with rose colored glasses. I lived in Southern California for years and heard all about how bad the Mexicans were because they were ALL gang bangers. I live near Baltimore where (I hear) ALL black men are common criminals and drug dealers. It is very easy to make a generalization about race.

When I am in my classroom, I try to teach compassion for others. I don’t spread my “liberal agenda” to my students. I correct them when they make assumptions that aren’t true. But just remember this, just because it hasn’t happened to you, doesn’t mean it hasn’t ever happened.

In a nutshell, I am who I am. I don’t like Donald Trump. I don’t like him as president. He is trash. This isn’t a Republican or Democrat issue as the current regime would like you to think. As Americans, we need to stand together and every time someone says something you don’t agree with, have a conversation instead of an argument. I don’t agree with a lot of things a lot of people say. Sometimes I make comments and sometimes I don’t. But when I do, it is usually to comment about the half truth the person just shared. Facebook is a blessing and a curse these days.

I am me, I have and always will be me and I will not conform to your standards. I live my life with love and compassion. I refuse to hate based on someone else’s standards.

Family

Three remaining siblings. Oldest in the middle (Brenda 68, Wayne 65 on the right, and Steve 60 on the right.)

Sometime around 1946, the Harold and Phyllis Wall family began. My grandfather married my grandmother and they stayed married until my grandfather passed away on March 11, 1987. Our family can be remembered by all of the gatherings, including Monday night dinners. My grandmother was a bartender when I was growing up. She worked at a small local tavern (The Avenue Tap) in Edgemere. She was off on Mondays and used to take her day off to cook dinner for her adult children and her grandchildren so that we could continue to spend time together as a family. As the grandkids grew up and the adult children started quarreling, the dinners ended. But my grandmother still made sure we got together as much as possible. She passed away in 2005 (I think). We still all gathered as a family, but only on Christmas and Thanksgiving. The cousins were mostly grown by then and some even had their own kids, so our get-togethers got smaller and fewer in between. We still all tried to get together at Christmas. Then, my uncle Steve moved away. Then my uncle Harold passed away, then my mom moved away. It was then up to the cousins to make sure we still remained a family. It is hard because we all have lives outside of the family. We were literally MAYBE seeing each other on Christmas if we were lucky. But then, in 2012, I had a stroke. I realized how important family is. I have always been close to my cousins, but having something life altering happen makes you realize how important family really is.

So, after my stroke and losing my Uncle Harold, (and Uncle John before that) I worked with my cousin Summers and we started a new tradition. No matter what, we try to get the whole family together in the summer. It has been a day filled with good food, kids, family, love, and fun. We had our 7th annual one yesterday. I am happy that we were able to do it. My mom and her 2 brothers were together for the first time since my uncle Harold died. It was the first time most of have seen my youngest uncle in years too. Sure, we were missing other cousins, but we still had fun. My wish is that maybe next year, we can ALL be together. I’m calling out my PA family and AZ family here. I know it isn’t an hour away, but you only get one family and we all need to keep traditions alive. Grandmom was smiling down on the whole family yesterday.

My point is this: you can make your own family, but you still have a family that you were born into. We need to make sure we are kind and loving. We need to learn to forgive and move on. Don’t wait until someone else dies and then cry about your loss at their funeral. Say your peace today. Give that hug. Make TIME for your family. It is important.

This is us!!

 

 

I Don’t Understand

In 1973, women were given control of their reproductive rights (by men). Roe v. Wade was a landmark decision that helped save lives and offered women an alternative to unsafe and self-induced termination of an unwanted pregnancy. Before this decision, 1 in 6 pregnancy related deaths was due to illegal abortions. (https://www.plannedparenthoodaction.org/issues/abortion/roe-v-wade) Is this what people really want? Do these conservatives really want to go back to back-alley coat hanger abortions? 82% of 18-29 year old women support legal abortions. Aren’t these the women that would most likely have an abortion to begin with? According to the National Abortion Federation, Women between the ages of 15 and 19 account for about
19% of all abortions; women 20 to 24 account for another 33%. Women, in 88% of the cases, have the abortion in the first trimester. This is before the fetus is viable AT ALL on its own. So what is the problem? You don’t have to agree with me, but you are not allowed to take away my rights. Abortion is murder, but injecting drugs and overdosing isn’t suicide? Abortion is murder but being on welfare is a travesty.

Here’s what I think-this issue is smoke and mirrors to cover up something else. Think about it-if you are rich, you can buy whatever you want. You can buy secret abortions. BUT, if you are poor, you have to follow the law of the land or commit a crime by getting an illegal abortion…Make your own assumptions, I have made mine. Just like always, the rich will continue to do what they want and our classes will be further divided. No ONE person has the right to tell me what to do with my body. If you don’t like abortion, don’t have one. There, I said it. It is not murder when a ball of cells cannot live on its own. It is not murder to abort something that has not chance of survival outside of the womb.